Categories
Mom Life

Calling All Mothers! ♥

Have you gone to your local garden supply yet? It’s almost time! Ready your soil for perineal and annual flowers, along with food for the summer. We love shopping at Block’s for our flowers and veggies. Although, each year we seem to over plant and grow more food than we can eat or share! Every spring we tell ourselves we’re not going to plant again but the liberation that comes from producing your own food makes it near impossible to stop.

Until weeds.

Okay. Let me remind you that I don’t handle dirt or touching anything harboring spiders/insects well. In my blog, Naked and Afraid, I give a graphic insight to my true feelings regarding this. But wait, there’s more! (Infomercial Sales Pitch Voice) I also can’t bear soiling my hands in a contaminated sink full of warm soapy water mixed with who knows what off my toddlers plate. Yes, I am a mother. No, I do not do dishes by hand. Using the dishwasher is a must. My husband is so compassionate and enduring in my weakness. He almost always washes out the crock pot for me after its corroded in the fridge with left over chicken and dumplings. (Any This Is Us fans protesting their crock pots though?)

dishes

Back to weeds.

They are never-ending, life choking, a thorn in my side half of the year. Thankfully Michigan gets cold the other half of the year to kill them all off! Don’t you wish life was like that? Work on yourself for 6 months then the other 6 months chill out and let the bad stuff die on its own. Too bad life doesn’t work that way. We have to work at life.

I do have an unpopular opinion about weeds though. They are beautiful in my view. Bright yellow dandelions that evolve into wish blowers and nature horns mixed in with rich green grass mirages a meadow in my back yard. Am I the only one who actually admires them? Watch the video tagged to have more of an appreciation https://dailymotion.com/video/x6h87vr?autoPlay=1

You have to watch the video before reading any further. I’m serious.

Thinking twice about killing those magical horns, aren’t you? That lady is too sweet to let down. #SaveTheDandelions

Our lives are botanical more than they are mechanical. We are able to transform our lives by the renewing of our minds, (see Romans 12:2) which means we can change what happens next. We can stop the dysfunctional patterns of our upbringing so that our children will be whole. We can change how we speak about ourselves when we look in the mirror by no longer imitating the culture around us and embracing value beyond outward beauty. We can garden our hearts and reap beauty from the dirt we were planted in.

Ezekiel 19:10-11:

10“Your mother was like a vine planted by the water’s edge. It had lush, green foliage because of the abundant water. 11Its branches became strong—strong enough to be a ruler’s scepter. It grew very tall, towering above all others. It stood out because of its height and its many lush branches.

That’s you, Mom! When planted by the Living Water, the fruit of your branches–your children and grandchildren–brings glory to God and your life. You go from no sleep to full sleep. Tempers to time-outs. Milk to pizza rolls. Diapers to potty training. All in the name of Motherhood for the Glory of God. Mirror Jesus to your children by showing them what being a mother grounded in truth, stability and godly reverence rewards.

When you plant patients, you reap patients. Love, you reap love. Faithfulness, you reap faithfulness. Along with planting comes weeding. Weeds of anger choke plants of patients. Weeds of hate choke plants of love. Weeds of insecurity choke plants of faithfulness. If you don’t pull weeds from the root they will return instantly. Tend your life like a garden and you will reap what you sow.

“Your secret weakness will be your secret weapon.” – Steven Furtick

“The only clean stable is an empty stable. So if you want the work of an ox and to enjoy an abundant harvest, you’ll have a mess or two to clean up!” Proverbs 14:4 TPT

Don’t be afraid to get messy! You want to enjoy a healthy marriage? Be a healthy wife! You want to have God-loving children? Be a God-loving mother! You want to enjoy the harvest of a hard-worked, fruitful life? Get your hands dirty and pull those weeds! Plant those seeds! Maybe this Mother’s Day your children will bring you flowers. I pray you will be reminded that those flowers are a gift of your gardening in Motherhood. Your children are your greatest harvest. Have a wonderful Mother’s day and remember! Don’t let the dandelion horn die!

Categories
Mom Life

Example Yourself

Hello, Mom. I am also, Mom. I am also; Nicole, Coley or Nikki Manaj (only when my husband is trying to annoy me). I became a new mother on January 11, 2016. My pregnancy was easy and enjoyable. After being induced and in labor for some time, I pushed for 35 minutes and Judah was born beautifully healthy. Just 7 weeks later, we were back in the hospital with a traumatic virus. Click the link to read more: My Unplanned Motherhood

Before children, we are called by our name. After children, we are called by our new universal name, Mom. Or as this Family Guy meme highlights it:

mommy

Whew! Who/what attempted to prepared us for endless, sleepless nights and unexpected hospital/doctor visits? For untamable hormones that caused us to weep over something we would have laughed at pre-pregnancy. Or the unwanted and irreversible stretched skin. Becoming a new wife at 20 and only 22 as a new mother, it was all new for me!

Thankfully, we have supportive family and friends. They brought us dinners and diapers, sent us flowers and books. Woman would encourage me by complimenting my postpartum body and how amazing I was doing for exclusively breastfeeding. I would always smile say thank you but what I needed was more than compliments. I needed mothers of all ages to tell me the truth.

That it’s hard.

Changing diapers all day and night is hard. Breastfeeding is hard. Trying to clean and cook and keep a tiny human alive while looking partly alive is hard. Satisfying sexual desires of your partner when sex is the furthest thing on your list of survival is hard. Posting the cutest newborn pictures and show casing everything as easy and fun on social media is hard.

Does it get easier?

Well, Judah is turning 2 years old next month and I would answer, no.

Yes, I have lost all of my pregnancy weight. We are able to get a full nights sleep most nights. Judah was successfully weened after 19 months of exclusively breastfeeding. We have pushed through months of his constipation problem, literally. Since RSV, we battle bronchitis too regularly but get through it without much more than doctor visits and breathing treatments. But that’s not the end.

Now there are new levels to achieve and overcome. The toddler 2’s… throwing fits of rage for not being allowed to pour juice on the floor and dance in it like it’s a rain puddle. Keeping his brain healthy with educational activities and his body strong with whole foods that aren’t a 4 piece happy meal from McDonald’s are also challenging. All the while never being prepared or given teachable insight on how to balance it all.

mommy2

This is the part where the seasoned mother’s come into play. Did you know the Bible commands older wives to teach younger wives? Yup, it literally tells them to help us be honorable new wives/moms:

Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.[a] Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[b] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. Titus 2:3-5 NLT

I intentionally have women friends that are significantly older than me. They are loving examples of what it looks like to age graciously in a world that makes you feel like you need to look like Kim K, to give generously when everyone seems to be in it for themselves and they’re full of wisdom and insight on much more. If it weren’t for those women who have invested in my life to be a better wife, mother and Christian, I would be a different person today.

Older women, please don’t be hesitant in reaching out to us younger women! We so desperately need you, more than you may think. We need to hear the truth of how you overcame wanting to escape your marriage and everything else during a dark season in your life. Or how you learned to cook weekly meals for your family when no one taught you how to fry an egg. We need to see your scars to believe that healing is real. We need Jesus in you.

Be who you needed when you were younger.

Younger women, don’t give up. One day you will be one of these older women helping a younger woman like yourself. You will show her that motherhood is more than how fast your body bounces back or doesn’t bounce back after having a child. All of your wild and free times of concerts and midnight coney dates with your best friends aren’t over, just more sacred when it does happen. Now you have a life to live and give more than just for yourself. You have a partner to do life with. Children to love and mold into all that you are and all that you aren’t.

So, is it easy? No. Does it get easier? Probably not. But is it rewarding? More than you could receive. Sow what you want to reap.

 

Categories
Mom Life

My Unplanned Motherhood

To the Moms who weren’t ready.

To the Moms who didn’t plan.

To the Moms who didn’t know they could be a Mom.

To you, Mom.

Meet Judah. He’s the little boy in the featured photo above. He was born on January 11, 2016. He is sweet, funny, intelligent and strong. His favorite snacks are blueberries, Cheerios and a Bob Joe’s Custard Kid’s Cone. As a baby, he loved to eat. As a toddler, he loves to eat. I’m not sure that will ever change.

Before Judah was born, we were more excited than scared. After Judah was born, we were more scared than excited. I’m kidding…maybe. No sleep, dirty laundry, starving dogs and emotional breakdowns (thanks hormones) was the beginning of my motherhood. Thankfully, my husband was at home the first week after he was born.

Judah was born during a nasty cold and flu virus season Michigan carries victoriously. At just 8 weeks old he was diagnosed with RSV. To adults it’s just a common cold, but to babies it’s much more severe and sickening. We were in the NICU for a week because he could no longer breathe on his own. Talk about fear and sadness overwhelming you! I played worship songs in his crib at the hospital every night to remind myself and the situation that God is good, He can heal and He is faithful.

We made it out alive!

After we brought him home from the hospital he was sleeping mostly through the night and we were able to function half way normal again (because you’re never normal after having a child). Since this, Judah has gotten sick but nothing like the first time. We are more confident with Vic’s Vaporizer, ZarBee’s Rub and lots of breast milk (16 months and still going).

Growing up I had no personal interest in becoming a mother. In fact, kids actually annoyed me so much I told myself and everyone who asked I would never have kids. “You’ll change your mind once you get married” the person with 3 kids would hesitantly encourage yet warn me. I’m not saying they were wrong, but I can’t say they were right.

When I found out I was pregnant I woke my husband up by shoving the pee test in his face (how gross now that I think about it). He was so excited we drove 3.5 hours up north to tell his parents who were on vacation the good news. The next day I had an alarm in my calender on my phone go off titled, “If no period, pregnant”. When they say it only takes one time, they’re not lying.

Throughout my pregnancy I kept saying how good it felt and that I’d have 6 kids (pregnancy brain for real!). That was until I gained 50+ pounds and thought I’d never lose all the weight. Thanks to exclusively breast-feeding, I am back in my high school clothes! Would I do it all over again? I’m not so sure. Do I love being a mom now? Absolutely.

Though I’m just a few days away from my 23rd birthday with a 16 month old boy, I still make having friends and “Nicole” time a priority. Personal care makes caring for others a whole lot healthier and joyful. When I’m away from my son for the night or even a few hours it’s hard but refreshing. Once we reunite, we are reminded of how much we love and rely on each other.

So, Mom. Go out with your best friend baby free even if it’s just for coffee. Enjoy that night away with your husband for Netflix and chill (no literally, binge watch Netflix and chill with each other). Your baby(s) is OK. You are going to be OK. Don’t feel guilty for you time.

Remember, being healthy internally helps being healthy externally.

Here are a few Bible verses of truth, encouragement and peace to meditate on:

  • “Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” 3 John 1:2
  • “Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.” Psalm 127:3
  • “This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength…” Isaiah 30:15